Cashing in on The Witcher’s success with Retro Games!

On our most recent podcast (check it out on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or just click to our homepage to listen), we discussed the TV adaptation of the Witcher books – which, let’s face it, is all about the video games because no one outside of Poland cared before. It has been a big success for Netflix and we joked about getting Leisure Suit Larry his own series – where it became clear my co-host just wanted to make and star in his own 1970’s style sex comedy.

That got us thinking. What else could we try and pitch to Netflix? I mean, The Witcher as lore is pretty impenetrable. Even the series didn’t make much sense until the end. What we can take from that is that audiences are prepared to get through an awful lot of waffle if the production values are high.


Therefore, here are our top 5 ideas for Netflix shows from the retro game era:

5. Dungeon Master 

On our most recent podcast (check it out on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or just click to our homepage to listen), we discussed the TV adaptation of the Witcher books – which, let’s face it, is all about the video games because no one outside of Poland cared before. It has been a big success for Netflix and we joked about getting Leisure Suit Larry his own series – where it became clear my co-host just wanted to make and star in his own 1970’s style sex comedy.

That got us thinking. What else could we try and pitch to Netflix? I mean, The Witcher as lore is pretty impenetrable. Even the series didn’t make much sense until the end. What we can take from that is that audiences are prepared to get through an awful lot of waffle if the production values are high.


Therefore, here are our top 5 ideas for Netflix shows from the retro game era:

5. Dungeon Master 

This is the grandaddy of all fantasy RPG’s so is clearly for a very similar adaptation. Hero Theron, protege of the Grey Lord (or something) has to go into a sprawling dungeon and battle their way to get the Firestaff. So far so simple – however, the story weaves the narrative of 4 companions, how they got into the dungeon, how they meet etc The whole timeline is out of order, it only makes sense if you watch it backwards and at the end they have to start again because the series was a dream. Massive budget needed too.

4. Mike Tyson’s Punch Out

This is an alternative history of Mike Tyson. We go back to the early 80’s to the height of Tyson’s success (ignoring all the horrible things he has done and pre hangover tattoo). The series cunningly starts after the game ends

All is not well though – Mike Tyson has punched out all the world’s best boxers. There is no one left and now he can’t stop punching out things. He has started on a cross country trail, punching out anyone in his way and the worst thing is… he is heading directly for the White House.

Tanks, planes, robots.. Nothing stops him. Until the FBI agents chasing him down recruit his old trainer, and get him to train a new generation of boxers… all while the army and airforce try to stop his advance. Samuel L. Jackson will play the trainer. Sorted.

3. Sim City 2000

What can be more exciting than a hard hitting drama about the highs and lows of city planning? A hard hitting drama about the highs and lows set of city planning set in the heady heights of the year 2000. Will the Millenium Bug strike? What kind of disaster will prevail? How happy are the citizens with your planning choices? Will the two lead planners get over their differences on communal space design to realise they truly love each other? Watch Sim City 2000 to find out.

2. Burger Time.

We are at a precipice in our planet’s evolution and meat is on the way out. Cue a group of well intentioned but probably evil scientists who develop genetically modified and over sized ingredients for burgers. They rebel against their masters and it is up to an ex Burger King ‘chef’ to determine their plans and defeat them using his wits, cookery skillz and of course, a f*ck ton of salt and pepper. An interesting parable of our times and the dangers of genetically modified food and our over reliance on meat. Also, the character at one point says ‘Lettuce past’ when an iceberg lettuce is blocking his path and then shoots it with a shotgun. Genius. 

1.Dragon’s Lair

The Dark Crystal reboot was that you can remake any old thing if it has nostalgic connections and who didn’t love the frustratingly unplayable Dragon’s Lair game. An expensive mix of live action and greenscreen, this is a Game of Thrones homage where court intrigue, unnecessary nudity and a whole lot of killing spices up the pedestrian plot about a knight trying to do something or other. Plot isn’t important – dragons, winkies, boobs and made up names are what makes up high fantasy and this will give Netflix another GoT challenger. 

So there you have it – what other games would you include? Do you work at Netflix and want to commission all of them? We don’t have the rights but don’t let that stop us… get in contact now. Unless you are the rights holders. In which case, we cannot be contacted. 

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